Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2 NIV)

This is a passage I struggle with to be honest.  Mostly, I'm always looking for a definitive line...how much is too much...when have I conformed too much.  So I struggle with this balance...and I can go to extremes...although I'm not very good at the deprivation kind...I'm also not great with the flip side either...and it's sorta funny but I tend to define this by consumerism.  Although I know entertainment, pop culture, movies, music and so forth are also part of it.  Natalie Grant left the Grammy Awards ceremony because it made her uncomfortable.  Mandisa didn't even attend.  I watched a small portion of the show but turned it off...not rejecting it I guess...just not entertained by it.  Should a person only listen to Christian music or read theological books...There are certainly groups that go to extremes and cut themselves off from the world...is that what God intended?  I don't think so....in fact, I think he expressly wants us in the world showing his love to those we touch.  So...it comes back to seeking...spending time and leaning into God...listening to his quiet voice.  Also...not conforming doesn't make us better than others...it doesn't make us superior...I am coming more and more to the conclusion that our most important actions are loving others as God loved us.  We are failing miserably at sharing the amazing love of our God with the world.  Maybe if I concentrated on actively showing God's love I wouldn't have to worry about where to draw the line.  God help me transform my mind so that I honor you by loving your creation.  Amen

Romans 8:6

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. (Romans 8:6 NIV)

I read this and it seems so simple and clear.  I find I wish I could live always with my mind governed by the Spirit.  It is so easy to get distracted by the trials going on in our lives and world.  And then at the same time...i feel simplistic in a  bad way to say it should be easy.   Life is hard...there are no end to the demands or the different directions those demands can come from...It can take so little to send us skittering off away from the truth...the life and peace of God.  Lord help my mind to be governed by your Spirit.  Amen.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12 NIV)

I don't believe there there can be a more dynamic verse about the power of God's word.  It is our best connection to God -- to know Him and his desires...to know how we should surrender our lives...to shape and direct our paths...and to provide comfort and hope.  I am so convicted...the devotional material from Good Morning Girls for this passage was about how our quiet time with God is not the time to be multi-tasking....and as I'm reading that...I was painting my finger nails...Yep BUSTED.   God knows our hearts...but it is vital that we still our heart and mind  so that we can hear Him.  Lord, help me to be quiet in the midst of busy-ness...help me still my heart so that I can hear your voice.  Be my guide.  Lead me.  Amen

John 4:13, 14

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13, 14 NIV)

I'm pretty sure I would have just stood gapping at Jesus had he said this to me....or I'd have given him a polite but dismissive glance, muttered to myself about the crazy guy by the well and walked off.  And then probably entertained the ladies at the evening well draw with my story about an interaction with the nutcase by the well at noon...only later would I start to figure out I missed something once again in my haste.  Of course the woman at the well didn't have a group of women she told anecdotes too in  order to entertain...but I still marvel.  She came to the well empty...and was filled with life everlasting.  Do I know when to stop and listen?  One of my biggest buzz words is being "competent"....it sounds so mundane....but to be able to do things well drives me.  weird I know.  But...I think it boils down to the fact that I dread the idea of being found lacking...wanting...or maybe even thirsty.  The fact is...apart from Jesus -- I am incapable of being the person he made me to be...I can't do it on my own.  And that is really hard for me...and in a strange way it makes me angry.  At least I think that's what maybe is at the core of the anger I've been wrestling with....and part of that makes me very miserly in extending grace and love to others around me.  And that absolutely rocks me.  Because I know I'm not any good at hiding these feelings...so I am communicating this coldness. How dreadful...and frankly...how shameful.  I am parched inside...I need Jesus to fill me...and flow out from me.  That is the truth...and in someways...it's what I would call a Sunday school truth...it's the "church" answer.  It doesn't make it any less true...but we (or more to the point -- I) can dismiss the real work or the real change required by the truth of something we glibbly say.  And I think that's where this finds me...thirsty....

Lord,  It is your work, your grace, your love, your mercy that makes us yours.  Not by my actions or in actions...and you love me...as ugly as I feel... you love me even now.  Help me unclench...help me heal.  Amen.

Verses from John

I am the bread of life...I am the good shepherd....I am the way, the truth and the life....I am the vine...I am the light of the world.....

These clear statements...they must have rocked the disciples....Can you imagine hearing them for the first time...straight from Jesus's mouth?  Not only does he reveal his nature...he revealed what it would be like without him ....darkness, hunger, thirst, want, loneliness, loss and death...that is what he changed for us.  He rewrote our story.  Thank you Jesus.  Help me to seek you first, to turn to your voice and follow your path dearest Lord.  Amen.

Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. (Mark 1:35 NIV)

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. (Luke 5:16 NIV)

Jesus shows us an example of discipline and how to find our guidance from God.  He got up early and focused on communing with God through prayer.  My prayer life doesn't mirror this example.  I look on this year as "the year where Kristi learns to be more disciplined"  It seems to be coming through as a message in so many different areas of my life.  Honestly -- and I blame this on being raised as a youngest child -- I really resent discipline...in fact if you want to cite me to rebellion....lay down the rules.  And it's usually really dumb rebellion...dumb as in it does me no good.  Lack of discipline in eating and exercise has got me to an unhealthy place...and lack of discipline in my walk with God will also get me to an unhealthy place.  I know I need to start rising early.....but oh is it going to require discipline.

Lord help me as I strive to be more disciplined.  Tame my rebellion.  Help me find the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other so that I may enjoy the fruits of the discipline of knowing you better.  Amen.

Philippians 3:14

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:14 NIV)

I press on.  Life and things we want to achieve aren't easy.  Somedays it is just work...but it is for the prize we continue to press on.  I didn't want to exercise Friday.  I didn't want to exercise Saturday.  I certainly didn't want to eat right....but the prize of feeling healthy, being flexible, having the energy to do  the things I want to do are important...and I can't just "have" that.  I have to work for it...by being disciplined.  And oh does my youngest child self want to rebel against anything like that...but the work will pay off.  

We don't have to work to earn God's love.  In fact...we can't.  But when I think about what He has done for us...how He loves us...how do you not respond to that love by demonstrating it to others?  I know I fail constantly...I am a work in progress...but with each "workout" I get stronger and better....and it leads me on toward the goal.