1 Chronicles 29:11-13

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things. Wealth and honor come from you alone, for you rule over everything. Power and might are in your hand, and at your discretion people are made great and given strength. “O our God, we thank you and praise your glorious name

I think out of these three verses the item that stands out to me is "at your discretion people are made great and given strength."  I'm not totally sure why this struck me particularly today.  But it did.  The whole passage was really something.  In fewing it solely as a prayer it really encompasses so much of how we should pray -- but even more so...it really magnifies God and his power...David really lays it all out for God.  Wealth and honor come from you alone...wow.  A headline and opening paragraph caught my attention today...Sam Walton and Warren Buffet...two incredible rich men, never really desired wealth.  That wasn't why they did what they did or do.  I'm not sure for either man if they put God first..but I think of so many -- and myself included -- consumed by the desire for wealth.  Just a little more each month would make a differnce, I tell myself.  Ha.  it's a lie.  Pursuing it doesn't bring wealth.  Sorta like the Samaritan woman...love and acceptance wasn't working for her...until she met the Son of God who gave her love everlasting.  It's amazing to me how thickheaded I can be...it's all right in front of us...God has created it all, it belongs to him and him alone.  If we seek him first he will provide for us.

Wow...and I will be thankful.

Hebrews 12:28

Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshipping him with holy fear and awe.

Mmm..what is holy fear and awe?  Seems very "Old Testament" terminology to me.  Something that seems so far removed from our "casual" world.  Jeans in church were a big no-no in my mom's world...and honestly I still don't wear jeans to church...  I can feel Mama Dee's reaction to the idea of actually having the pastor preach in jeans. There really isn't anything wrong with coming as we are...and it's probably a good thing to not have appearance be a barrier to the gospel...but do we take our casualness too far?  My mom once told me that if we dress up for work or going out..the least we can do is dress up for God.  And by this she meant show him respect by treating coming to church as something just as important as our other every day events.  I guess there always needs to be a balance...dress code shouldn't be there to exclude...but I wonder if sometimes we forget that it used to be much more difficult to come before our God...we are blessed that he has provided a much easier way...and that is definately something to be thankful for!!!

PS...Thanks for the prayers...we made it safely to Cincinnati!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Always be joyful.  Never stop praying.  Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Okay…just a couple of easy verses today.  Yeah right.  Always be joyful….be thankful in all circumstances.  Describes me to a T.  Bwah ha ha ha…I've also got swampland in Florida for sale.  So…the obvious confession for me is that it's much easier to be thankful when it's good circumstances. I've covered that pretty extensively this week.  So then I started wondering…what is the purpose of God always telling us to behave this way?  The easy answer is that it is a better way to demonstrate the gift of love and salvation we've received through Christ.  Easy answer…not easy action.  But I do wonder if there is more to it than that.  I don't have an answer.  And it seems that He has frequently encourages in that direction…which made me realize…if it's necessary to repeat it, people of the time and frankly the rest of us too just don't get it.  I hate that.  I like to get things right the first time…so clearly I do a lot of un-likeing of my behavior.  Then I also had a mom moment…How often to do I tell my kids to "knock it off - quit fighting - be kind to one another."  A lot.  Then I get silly and wonder if God would ever tell us…."I'm gonna pull this car over"  No…he just tells us…keep praying.  Be thankful, be joyful.  Life is better that way…maybe it is just that simple.

We are driving to Cincinnati today.  I'd love some additional prayers for a safe journey!  In fact….I'd be thankful!  Just add it to your always praying list.  :)

Colossians 3:15-17

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts.  For as members of one body you are called to live in peace.  And always be thankful.  Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives.  Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives.  Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.  And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

I read this passage over after having typed it out…and I just feel this warm sensation….like a big hug of comfort.  Peace.  Yes Lord -- Peace.  If I relinquish control and let Christ rule in my heart I can have peace.  Just reading those words - thinking those thoughts its as if I can feel the weight lifted and to be able to breathe deeper.  What a comfort.  And yes Lord, I am thankful.  Now, I just have to remember to think on these things.  Easy as pie (mmmm….well maybe not) All too human here.  But together we can encourage and counsel each other.  Now the singing thing I can do….not well mind you…but I can make a great joyful noise!  I love the older hymns.  I miss them.  And boy howdy do I love that some artists are doing new arrangements for these treasured songs.  Singing Come Thou Font of Blessing.  Awesome!  And the couple of new arrangements with Amazing Grace.  Fabulous.  And still some old classics drift through my mind…Standing on the Promises…that particular hymn has been rattling around in my brain…because I've needed those classic truths.  And I am thankful God has gifted these poets with the ability to put my hearts thoughts down on paper and even compose music to go along.  Yes Jesus…I am thankful.  Amen!

Check out this video -- LOVE IT!

Psalm 100: 4, 5

Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise.  Give thanks to him and praise his name.  For the Lord is good.  His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.

I am giving thanks today.  The Lord is good.  But it's not just because the biopsy results came back negative.  Although that does make me want to do a happy dance and I have thanked him profusely.  The Lord is good because he loves me (us) forever and without fail.  I don't even know that I can begin to comprehend that idea.  I guess the closest understanding I can think of is with my girls.  There are times when I can feel the depth of my love for them to the point I want to burst and I come close to tears.  They are precious beyond measure to me…and that is only a shallow imitation of how God sees us.  Unfathomable.  And for this reason and so many more….I am Thankful.

I Chronicles 16:8-11

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.  Let the whole world know what he has done.  Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.  Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord.  Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.

Is it easier to give thanks when things are good?  I think so.  It is certainly an "easier sell" to proclaim greatness when you are on the winning side of the equation.  Of course, the challenge is then how to define "winning."  If the cancer has come back…I pause and wonder what do I say when I "let the whole world know what he has done."  I don't think I believe God gave me cancer…either time…or indeed if it has come back.  But, I do have to adjust my thinking.  When I hear, write, say the verse "Let the whole world know…" I kick in to sales mode….and I find myself baffled by how I would let the world know…does that mean that maybe deep down I blame God.  I don't like to think so.  But it wouldn't be "a position of strength" that I'd be selling from.  As you can tell my nature as a press secretary comes out when evaluating these verses.  I remember a study with Lysa Terkurst and the "aha" moment of understanding I don't have to praise God for illness…but I can praise Him for being God in all situations…good or bad.  So I know this…but I guess I don't feel confident to tell others.  If the cancer is back…I certainly don't see that as a wonderful deed…but I still know that God holds it in his hand.  And more to the point…if the answer from the doctor tomorrow is yes it's back…I know that I need God's strength to get through.

There are so many thoughts that run through my head.  Most I am ashamed to voice…because I feel by thinking them, feeling them and then giving voice to them I'm being weak and disobedient.

Perhaps, by focusing on one issue, one bad thing…I miss the bigger picture and therefore the answer…that God is God…no matter what…and his love covers us.

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It's not you....it's me

I'm stuck.  Honestly I feel like I'm covered in tar....that or being smothered...heck why not just go with both.  For some reason, I'm living in a season of deep anger.  I can't even name what is at the heart of what I'm feeling...but it's ugly.  I'm not sure where it's coming from....if it's my lack of forgiveness for past hurts....frustration in a world filed with injustice (this sounds more noble than it really is....) of some other disappointment.

And to be clear....I'm not mad at God.  I'm just mad at everything else....including me.  And it's paralyzing.....the funny thing is I know it's that paralysis that is keeping me stuck.  I know eventually I'll break free.  I believe that God will pry open my eyes and show me the source of this crap.....and He'll be able to help me release my clenched fists that seem to be holding on to the anger, refusing to let it go...against all common sense.  But it's what I know...and I'm scared to let go.

I know God will provide the strength...but right now I can't even look to his word...the anger brings shame....and I can't believe I'm worthy of the freedom God gives.  How whack is that.

I'm scared, hurt and angry.  I don't like it....but it's where I am.