Sunday, November 10, 2013

I Chronicles 16:8-11

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.  Let the whole world know what he has done.  Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.  Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord.  Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.

Is it easier to give thanks when things are good?  I think so.  It is certainly an "easier sell" to proclaim greatness when you are on the winning side of the equation.  Of course, the challenge is then how to define "winning."  If the cancer has come back…I pause and wonder what do I say when I "let the whole world know what he has done."  I don't think I believe God gave me cancer…either time…or indeed if it has come back.  But, I do have to adjust my thinking.  When I hear, write, say the verse "Let the whole world know…" I kick in to sales mode….and I find myself baffled by how I would let the world know…does that mean that maybe deep down I blame God.  I don't like to think so.  But it wouldn't be "a position of strength" that I'd be selling from.  As you can tell my nature as a press secretary comes out when evaluating these verses.  I remember a study with Lysa Terkurst and the "aha" moment of understanding I don't have to praise God for illness…but I can praise Him for being God in all situations…good or bad.  So I know this…but I guess I don't feel confident to tell others.  If the cancer is back…I certainly don't see that as a wonderful deed…but I still know that God holds it in his hand.  And more to the point…if the answer from the doctor tomorrow is yes it's back…I know that I need God's strength to get through.

There are so many thoughts that run through my head.  Most I am ashamed to voice…because I feel by thinking them, feeling them and then giving voice to them I'm being weak and disobedient.

Perhaps, by focusing on one issue, one bad thing…I miss the bigger picture and therefore the answer…that God is God…no matter what…and his love covers us.

1 comment:

  1. Kristi--I love this blog! Your thoughts provide interesting questions, one's I myself have been wrestling with the last few years. So much so, that I a few weeks back I started a study by Jennifer Rothschild called Missing Pieces. If it is okay, I will be sharing some of her thoughts, as well as my own. :)
    Yes...I 100% believe God allowed us to have cancer...but I don't believe He necessarily caused it--because in essence that would be against His character, just as He doesn't cause evil, but evil still exists. The beautiful thing to me (when I remember to keep my eyes focused on HIM and not myself--which (for me) can be a challenge) is that each experience good (and bad) have helped me develop another level in the trust factor. I remember one particular night before a PET scan wrestling with God...wondering, could I offer praises to Him if the test results were different than what we hoped? That's a tough question as we are human--and I don't believe thoughts like these make us disobedient....they make us real--with a very real God. Keep pressing on....